Help me

[Kip Powick]

I live in what can I think can be classified as a nice suburban neighbour hood. The real only reason to travel on our street is if you live on the street. On one side of our house is another separate dwelling, occupied by a lovely young couple that are enjoying their first child. On the other side we have a public walkway between our house and the next house, which is occupied by an elderly, retired Military airframe mechanic and his second wife.

The only problem we very occasionally have is over exuberant teenagers strolling down the walkway, between our houses late at night being their boisterous selves, and on the very odd occasion there might be a loud and yakky drunk.

This morning, at 3:15am, according to the bedside clock, I was awakened by a male voice shouting, “help me---help me” and then silence…I sat up and listened……a few moments passed and once again, the voice started, “help me- help me”. I went to the bedroom window and looked out but could no ascertain exactly where the voice was coming from but felt it had to be the walkway that passes the end of our house, (no window there), or my neighbor’s backyard.

I stood and waited…a few moments passed and the voice came back, this time a bit more faint…. .”help me---help me please”.

At 3:15am a lot of things go through ones mind…is there a drunk out there who has passed out and can’t get up?……….. Is this a “set-up” by some low-life hoping a door will be opened and he will be able to gain access and plunder the dwelling?……Am I being paranoid because of some of the unsavory changes we have witnessed in society??…hmmmm..maybe there is someone actually in distress.

Better safe that sorry so I dialed 911 and requested the police. I waited, for what I thought was a long time but in reality it was probably only a couple of minutes. I pulled on a pair of gym shorts, a sweatshirt, and sneakers, grabbed my cell phone and a flashlight. I thought about waking my bunk mate but she has aids, two of them, she is hearing impaired…wouldn’t hear a 357 Magnum unless it was in the bedroom…and waking her at that hour would probably take a lot of hand signals, explanations and of course I’d be in deep “do-do” for even thinking of going out into the unknown. As I went to the front door, I picked up a solid oak, steel tipped walking stick I have, thinking I would like to have had my 12 guage, but I sold it 2 years ago. Just as I went out the door, the police arrived and in truth about 4 minutes had transpired from my call until their arrival.

One cop went down the walkway and the other went behind the elderly couples house. I sorta stood back…thankful these two six-foot giants with blazing flashlights had arrived. The cop behind the neighbour’s house called out, “I’ve got him……call EMS”.

It turns out my elderly neighbour, aged 86, had wandered out of his house via the back door, got confused, tripped over a garden hose near the edge of his property and the walkway and could not get up. The temperature was 4C and all he had on was a thin pair of pajamas and he was at the initial stages of hypothermia. The cop awakened the fellows wife with insistent banging on the door and naturally she was totally shocked at what had happened and was not aware that her husband had left the house. EMS arrived, they bundled him off in blankets for observation and the cop came over and thanked me for making the call. I sad it was no big deal and I was really sorry about what had happened to my neighbour and that I wished I had acted earlier, when I first heard the man calling for help. The cop reassured me that many would have just closed their window and hoped the “noise” would go away and perhaps it might have …when the elderly gentleman died of exposure.

I tell you this story not to garner accolades for doing what I should have done, perhaps more quickly but rather in hopes of making all of us a little more aware that there are times when “becoming involved” can be the right thing to do. Society has turned, to a degree, many of us into ----- don’t want to get involved – have enough on my plate---I will probably regret the consequences of my actions---- individuals who think of only ourselves that we forget that is we pass through our brief time on this planet we, at some time, may be the ones who need others to become involved.

This morning I “briefed” Scuba02 on the nights adventure……..she gave me an extra spoonful of dried cranberries on my cereal.

Have a nice weekend.

[conehead]

Way to go Kip! After the first paragraph, I thought this was gonna be a joke about Mechanics..

Seriously, glad you were there to help the guy. Surely, he would have died out there last night.

[60N30W]

Kip,

Do dried cranberries help with your regularity?

Seriously, the man in question has you to thank fo saving him, good on you for investigating, many people today don't.

Regards,

60N30W

[Steam Driven]

In the home where I grew up in B.C. we had a neighbour who had M.S. It was not unusual -every couple of months or so - to hear the same plantive cries, "Help me, help me".

We would go over and the dear lady had slipped off the comode and was jammed between the seat and the wall. Without the muscle control of a healthy person she was stuck and would remain so until her children came home from school to find her, or much later, her husband would come home from work.

An act of kindness, charity if you will, just looking out for your fellow Human is not too much to ask.

The "I don't want to get involved attitude" is pervasive and I think destructive. We are told by our Police forces to "Stay back, don't interfere, call 911". Where does one draw the line? When does one keep a sense of "Community" and say no, you can't vandalize that park, or spread Graffito on that wall? If one "Doesn't get involved" and calls 911 the perpatrator will be gone, if the police decide the call merits a visit over a more "serious" call.

What happened to "Community Standards". You and I standing up to people and through peer pressure saying "No, we don't spit on the sidewalk in front of my house." Or - (Sorry Mitch ) "We clean up after our dogs in this playground."

The Police can not be everywhere. You and I need to take responsibilty for our surroundings and let people know what is acceptable and what is not. I think that is what "Community" means... We can't lock the doors, close the blinds, turn off the lights and think, "It's not my problem"...

You did a very great thing Kip. Karma will reward you with fantastic scuba diving this winter!

Good on ya Mate!

[J.O.]

Well done, Kip. We have a very similar setup behind our house, and we're lucky to date that the trail sees very little traffic after the sun sets. I'm sure many of us (myself included) would have given some pause before acting. You did a good thing, and you defintely deserved the extra helping of craisins.

Jeff

[Mitch Cronin]

I'll second the Good on ya mate!

If you're familiar with the story of a Beaver crash out west that took Kirsten Stevens' husband's life, you'll know that if one of several who could have, had done as you did, her husband could be alive today.

[UpperDeck]

What I believe is most telling is the urge to say; "Well done" when the unstated question is; "Should I have done more earlier?"

I thought Kip's story was more poignant; what has happened to us---to ALL of us----that when we hear a cry for "help", our instinct for self-preservation now compels us to avoid involvement while our sense of morality demands response? We are becoming ever more remote from our "neighbour" and in that process, ourselves become less secure.

Ultimately, Kip did what he knows should have been done and none of us should get an "attaboy" for doing what is right.

[JL]

Good on you Kip! I had a similar event just the other day too. I was following a city bus through our neighborhood and it stopped at a stop on a sweeping right hand bend and I behind it. A teen aged girl got off and started to run towards the back of the bus to cross the street behind the bus. As she was rounding the rear of the bus just in front of me, I saw an approaching car in the opposite direction. The timing was going to be perfect for contact. She was oblivious to the approaching car and the car could not have seen her. I got that awful feeling and thought "I don't want to do first aid today" so I laid on the horn. She slowed up enough to look at me with that "what the hell's your problem?" and the oncoming car must have heard too as it slowed to a stop just as she crossed in front. She turned to see the car and did a stutter step and then continued across. I often wonder if honking the horn may have increased the odds of a collision...who knows. That feeling of helplessness is the worst as you watch an accident about to happen.

[Specs]

Isn't there a famous quotation about society's fail when people do?

I guess it won't start in Trenton. Thanks for holding your end up Kip.

[Moon The Loon]

Well done, Sir.

Very well written, as well. It was a riveting read.

Thanks for the wake-up call to our collective humanity and best of luck to your neighbour. They're lucky to have you.

[newgirl]

What a state of isolation we've built for ourselves. In a subdivision with young children playing shinny or football., the streets are alive. Once they grow up , the neighbourhood becomes very quiet almost deserted. People seem to stay in their homes and spend time in their backyards instead of the front yard. I miss having the activity on the street.

Nowadays I am hesitant to answer the doorbell past 2100h even with the 2 dogs barking around me. What would I do if I heard what Kip did? Call 911 and grab the bat , I guess.

It's no wonder the elderly don't go out at night as it can be intimidating for them.

This summer I took my Mom out to visit a friend in her hometown. After having lunch at the hotel we decided to visit the old homestead to search for the buffalo rubbing rock. We pulled off the gravel road, got out of the car leaving behind our purses, cel phone and with the keys in the ignition. Yep, the car locked itself.

So here we are in the middle of nowhere. We start walking to the next farm which luckily is only a mile away. We know the people and the farm dog is friendly so I figure even if they aren't at home as it's harvest time, the house will be open and we can use the phone for help.

Half a mile down the road my Mom ( 73) is pooped and states she can't walk anymore. Just then I see a truck coming down the road so we flag it down. It just happens to be the farmer whose house we were walking to. Mom gets in the cab and her friend (77) and I end up in the bed with a very happy golden retriever and various gas tanks, tools etc.

Now time is precious at harvest but the farmer drives into town, gets a guy with "tools" to try and open my door. He struggles for about 30 mins. but finally opens it without major damage.

Now thats what I call community. Mom left 54 years ago but they still have a bond which can't be broken. They will help anyone even if they don't know them. It restored my faith in humans but I not in my car! I always pull my keys even in my own driveway.

And I never did see that buffalo rubbing rock!!!!

[J.O.]

This came in an email today and I thought it appropriate ...

THE CAB RIDE

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. Late one night, I got a call for a pickup. When I arrived it was 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away.

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car", she said? I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".

"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown"?

"It's not the shortest way", I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind", she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left", she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long".

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take", I asked?

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now".

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you" she asked, reaching into her purse?

"Nothing, ma'am", I said .

"You have to make a living", she answered.

"There are other passengers", I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy", she said. "Thank you".

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove around aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT 'YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL...

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here.............. we might as well dance.

[Mitch Cronin]

What I believe is most telling is the urge to say; "Well done" when the unstated question is; "Should I have done more earlier?"

I thought Kip's story was more poignant; what has happened to us---to ALL of us----that when we hear a cry for "help", our instinct for self-preservation now compels us to avoid involvement while our sense of morality demands response? We are becoming ever more remote from our "neighbour" and in that process, ourselves become less secure.

Ultimately, Kip did what he knows should have been done and none of us should get an "attaboy" for doing what is right.

You make a good point Upperdeck, but I think you point out yourself why your conclusion is subjective... As we agree that it's becoming too common to be, as you say "remote", while nurturing our self preservation instincts, I think it follows that breaking that trend is to be applauded.

[Mitch Cronin]

THE CAB RIDE

[...]

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here.............. we might as well dance.

Wow! Great story, and I love what he made of it... 27 years ago I was a cab driver.... I never had anything quite like that happen, but all in all it sure is a good way to grasp that "might as well dance" sentiment. Then again... all of life does that, if you pay attention.