Kip Powick Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Lawyer vs Jury A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted,resorted to a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement, but, you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed, and I insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate, but a few minutes later, they all returned and pronounced a unanimous verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." The jury foreman replied: "Yes, we did all look, but, your client did not......." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John S. Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Best 'lawyer joke' I've seen in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UpperDeck Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 That's an oldie!! In fact, they used that for an episode of that lawyer show with Bill Shatner. However, Kip, I'll tell you one that I've used successfully as have many other trial lawyers. You have a witness you're cross-examining that you KNOW is lying. You ask a few times; "Are you sure you didn't.....(fill in blank)" and as you do so, you open a file (ostentatiously) and pull out a piece of official looking paper. Suddenly, as if on cue, the witness' memory is "refreshed"; "Oh, yeah. There was that one time...(etc.)" How was the witness to know the paper was blank? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.O. Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Sort of like the two airmen who were lead into the courtroom during Col Jessup's (Jack Nicholson) testimony in A Few Good Men. Classic sleight of hand play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innuendo Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Great scene in the oldie "Witness for the prosecution" where Charles Laughton does essentially that when questioning Marlene Dietrich on the stand. Like the joke though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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