Kip Powick Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Headlines from the year 2029: Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the second largest country in the world, Canbecistan formerly known as Canada. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Canbecistan’s third language. Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped. Westjet buys Air Canada. Merged airline called Nadajet. New Seniority fight looms on horizon. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon). Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year, $75.8 billion study confirms: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Canadians drops to 250 lbs. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Alberta executes last remaining Liberal. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights. New TSA law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Parliament authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Revenue Canada sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent and rolls back the GST to 19 percent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canus Chinookus Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 "Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.O. Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Don't forget ... George H.W. Bush awarded honorary Kindergarten diploma. President Dick Chaney Jr. "Accidentally" Shoots British P.M. During Fox Hunt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AAS Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Mitch still on midnights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AME Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Alberta executes last remaining Liberal. I sure hope it doesn't take that long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canus Chinookus Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 I thought we kicked out the last liberal last election! Is it now time for the executions finally?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.