Stickle Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 IDIOTS IN SERVICE This week, my phone went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. I asked him, "Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?" IDIOTS AT WORK I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched. IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. IDIOT SIGHTING I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." IDIOT SIGHTING The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" IDIOT SIGHTING At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. IDIOT SIGHTING I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. IDIOT SIGHTING When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super 80 Posted September 26, 2003 Share Posted September 26, 2003 This happened to me at LAX a while back, Alaska Airlines is in the old terminal, going from the check-in desk to the escalator that goes to security is about 30 feet apart. So this TSA bitch would have been able to see me checking in. So, I am heading up the escalator when this TSA girl who looked about 14 literally grabbed me pulling me back from the escalator. She then said, "Sorry Boo, are you a passanger?" I should add that at this point, I am carrying TWO suitcases, I have a duffle bag over one shoulder, a laptop case over the other, my passport is in my hand and my boarding pass is clenched between my teeth. "No, I am not, I just like going through airport security for fun" Then, off I go so my bags can go through their bomb detector, one of my bags had several extra thick manuals inside, well, what do they do? They take the books out of my bag and swab the pages for explosives! IT'S A GOD DAMN BOOK, a manual on replacing surface mounted chips at that. and while they are trying to figure out if my books are bombs, they aren't even watching the scanners. Once they figure out "Procedures For Replacing BGA mounted IC's" isn't going to bring down a 737 they take the business card out of my luggage tag and swab that! At this point there are two marines standing behind me who are finding this all hystarical. Finally, when they figure out this blue eyed canadian guy who looks about 15 wasn't Osama bin Laden undercover they finally checked my bags and sent me on to the next circle of hell. Now, rather than do this all at once you have to go through several TSA check points, one for checked bags and then carry-on. At this point all I have is my laptop case, and a small tote bag, I am wearing sandles, dockers and a light jacket. I have with me two laptops and a few perhiperals. One laptop is just a typical laptop running Windows. The other is a special one running an embedded opperating system. I booted them both up, Windows, launched Word, launched Solitare ect. No problem. But the other laptop runs on a stripped down version of Windows CE with all sorts of weird things on it. Never having seen this before and gets all weird. Like the software is going to blow up the plane or something. Fortunately it seems this system had Solitare installed on it and that set his mind at ease. I was worried they were going to bounce me back to the bomb detectors. He then turns his attention to my USB Zip Drive, "what dat der blue thing" Finally, I get through security - fortunately I was not asked to publically undress. It seems the further south you go the worse the TSA gets, the TSA in Seattle are no worse than anywhere in Canada. I am headed back to Long Beach and Orange County soon, I think I am going to try shipping myself home in a crate, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Starman Posted September 26, 2003 Share Posted September 26, 2003 Anyone else ever witness soldiers at Kai Tak placing their machine guns aside so that they could be "wanded" by security for concealed weapons? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrench Posted September 26, 2003 Share Posted September 26, 2003 When you come back with a line like " No, I am just going through airport security for fun", what do you expect? Keep that cake hole shut and do exactly what they ask and you will not be showing the rest of us how much of a goof you really are. You my friend are definately the "author of your own misfortunes". Grow up!! or take the Greyhound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AME Posted September 26, 2003 Share Posted September 26, 2003 Just after 911, when we were still being searched going through the gate onto the ramp, I filled my coverall pockets with various knives and blades from my tool box, at security, I was asked to empty my pockets and was wanded, once they were done I picked up all the knives etc... and proceded onto the ramp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super 80 Posted September 26, 2003 Share Posted September 26, 2003 I didn't say anything, I was just thinking that. Asking someone laden with bags and a boarding pass in plain view in an area impossible to enter without having checked in for a flight if they are a passenger is the paradigm of idiocy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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