Mitch Cronin Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 To hell with arbitrations, t/a's, angry people, dogs that bark too much, ccaa's, liers, cheats, and thieves.... Has anyone heard any good jokes lately? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BillyBigToe Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 Did you hear about the blonde coyote that was stuck in a leg-hold trap? Chewed three legs off and was still stuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Cronin Posted June 14, 2003 Author Share Posted June 14, 2003 Mike Weir drives his Lexus into a gas station in the heart of Redneck Bluff Alberta. Lucas the gas man slowly ambles his way over to fill his tank, but then he can't unlock the fuel cap, so Mike steps out of the car to give him a hand... When he does so, two of his golf tees fall out of his shirt pocket and after unlocking the cap for Lucas, he picks them up. Lucas, knowing nothing about golf, asks him, "What are them things?" Mike, not fully realizing the depth of Lucas' ignorance, answers, "they're tees". "And whadya do with'em" asks Lucas.... "I rest my balls on them when I'm driving." sez Mike. "Hot Damn!" sez Lucas, "These Lexus folk think'o'everthang!" badump bum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sky High Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 Jesus is sitting in a cafe pondering life. An Irishman in a wheelchair comes in, sees him and asks the waitress, "Is that Jesus over there?" Shes says yes so he asks her to give him a cup of coffee with his regards. As thanks Jesus comes over and lays his hands on the man whereupon hes healed. A little while later an Englishman comes limping in on a friends arm. He too notices Jesus and asks the waitress if it's really him. When she replies yes, he asks her to give Jesus a cup of tea on him. As thanks Jesus comes over and lays his hands on the man and he's healed. Shortly thereafter a redneck comes shuffling in on crutches. He looks around and asks the waitress if that is Jesus over there. She says yes. He tells her to send him a cup of coffee. Jesus comes over to show his thanks. The redneck starts way in shock. "Don't you come near me" he says, "I'm on disability" Hey it sounded good when I heard it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crow Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 This isn't so tasteful, but... Q: Why didn't Superman come to the rescue of JFK Junior? A: Why, because Superman is in a wheelchair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest qb Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 What do you call a blonde with an i.q.? A golden retriever. qb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exGXer Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 Winner in a limerick contest in which the words Lewinsky and Kaczynski [unabomber] had to be used. Lewinsky and Clinton have shown What Kaczynski must surely have known: That an intern is better Than a bomb in a letter When deciding how best to be blown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MDA Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 Recently scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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