Kip Powick Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 The wind whistled through the stubby little trees as small clusters of dandelion seeds parachuted their way along the pristine fairway. It was a hot and sunny day in Winnipeg. The three men walked out to the first tee and a more unlikely threesome could not have graced the golf course that fateful day. Mitch carried only three clubs, all ancient and badly scarred, two held together with duct tape. It had been said that the complete set the clubs originally belonged to his great grandfather, a close friend of Ben Hogan and were touted as bordering on collectors items but as the years had passed Mitch had sold most of the set in pieces and used the funds to expand his collection of “Strat”guitars. Upperdeck carried a complete set of Giant Tiger golf clubs in a small, dirty, and tattered gunny sack as it was well known that, although a prolific lawyer and presumably well off, he tended to economize whenever possible. Seldom did he golf with a shiny new golf ball but preferred to use practice balls that he acquired during his forays to the local golf range on dark and stormy nights. Often he was heard to remark that they were easy to find, should he make an errant shot, because of their vibrant colors. Dagger, on the other hand, actually carried more clubs than was legal for tournament play but most did not mention his indiscretion and left him alone as they knew it would be fruitless to point out that he was in error. He had a complete set of Wilson Specter 5000, Mach 2 Gold Flight clubs and a few new ones that the “pros’ had told him were certain to improve his game. Always doubtful about any information that was passed to him, he always took upon himself to analyze and critique the performance of his new acquisitions. They were the second threesome in the Annual AEF Golf Tournament and approached the first tee with an attitude of indifference. Dagger would be the first to tee-off and knew that he could impress his playing partners with his indisputable skill. Newgirl and her two guests were standing at the tee, about to take their first strokes. The first lady addressed the ball, took a perfect swing and the sound of the clubface contacting the ball echoed down the fairway as the ball careened 185 yards into the center of the par 4, 362 yard first hole. The second lady hit a similar shot but the ball ended up just off the right hand side fairway about 160 yards from the tee-box. Newgirl addressed the ball for her first stroke. The men remained silent. She drew the club back and came down on the ball in what appeared to be the perfect swing. Throughout the arc of the swing she kept her head down and was surprised to see that she had driven her wooden tee straight down, and out of sight, buried in the short grass. She snapped her head up just in time to see her golf ball trickle off the end of the tee box and stop rolling about 15 feet from where she was standing. No one spoke, although Mitch had turned around and seemed to be gagging on something. Upperdeck had a faint smile on his lips but said nothing and Dagger lifted his hand and flicked a piece of lint from his expensive cardigan. “Mulligan?” said one of the ladies, but newgirl ignored her, pulled out a one iron and addressed the ball for the second time. All eyes turned to watch her next shot. The club arced through the air and a solid “whack” was heard as the club found the ball. All eyes were peering down the fairway, looking for the ball when Mitch calmly pointed skyward and said, “ Well look at that.” The ball was at the apex of its climb, stopped its heavenly ascent and was now earthbound in its silent flight. The trajectory and point of impact seemed destined to be the very spot Newgirl was standing. Mitch turned away and starting gagging once more, upperdeck’s small smile had been replaced with a frown, and dagger merely shuffled from side to side. Frustrated, newgirl shouted at the three men and her two guests, “I guess the %&*ing lessons I took over the winter were a complete waste of money!!!” Dagger’s steely eyes locked with hers and replied, “Well we wouldn’t know about that, but perhaps the money would have been better spent on golf lessons” It has been reported that dagger will be released from hospital in about a week and, apart from a permanent speech impediment and lifelong facial indentations from a one iron, will recover completely, in time for the next AEF golf tournament. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.O. Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 FORE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newgirl Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Uh no J.O. . I think you meant FOREPLAY ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.O. Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Uh no J.O. . I think you meant FOREPLAY ! What's that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moeman Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 You know. They call it the driving range. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Touchdown Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 J.O. You mean fourplay....as in four guys in two driving carts....What's this other FOREPLAY you speak of ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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