Wanna be an Airline Pilot ??

[Kip Powick]

Here is a home study simulator course for those who hunger for the romance and adventure of airline flying. Applicable to Domestic and International flights, big and small aircraft as well as active and retired pilots.

1.Stay out of bed all night.

2.Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.

3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.

4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating an eastbound flight into the sunrise.

5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.

6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently.

7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.

8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "rain" for twenty minutes, simulating the wait for crew transport.

9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait you'd have while the maid makes up the hotel room.

10. When your spouse inquires, "Just what in the hell have you been doing?" just say, "Recalling the allure of all night flying to romantic places" and collapse into bed.

11. If you are a purist, do this two nights in a row.

[Guest RKM]

All I I thought I had to do was remember to ask the customer if they wanted to large size their order of fries!

[Guest RKM]

All I thought I had to do was remember to ask the customer if they wanted to large size their order of fries!

[Lazionic]

hmm... i thought to be a pilot all i had to do was this... http://www.bbc.co.uk/bristol/content/concorde/2003/10/15/origami/concorde_origami.shtml

Stage 20 pretty much sums it up.

[Guest CabinDweller]

Whatever the appeal of being an airline/commercial pilot is, it seems to be diminishing year after year for me. Still love flying, but there are numerous

parallels between making a living flying in this country and trying to make a living acting. Many unknowns.

For as long as I can remember its all I wanted to do. My Grandmother tells me since the age of at least three I would simply stop in my tracks until the a/c I was glued to overhead disappeared out of sight. Often at the most inopportune times like a busy day at the CNE causing crowds to stumble around us. I did’nt care. Still look.

Maybe it’s the blindness of youth that allows one to not only accept but embrace those many unknowns in life. I didn’t take the “closet test” but this last couple of years have been seriously questioning what I expect to get out of a career in aviation. The answer no longer seems to fit the cliché “what you put into it”. Sigh…

On a completely different note,

off to Cancun this Saturday for three weeks.

Having much difficulty finding info on a variation of snorkelling. It’s a throw back 100+ years where a pump supplies ambient air(I think) down 15-25’ to people like me for an hour or so of exploring. Apparently growing in popularity around the Caribbean and Hawaii but I can’t find any info on the net, with outfitters or even travel agents. If you even know the name of this sport, I can go from there. Been interested in diving for a while but haven’t earned my ticket and don’t have much equipment…this seems like an appropriate (and affordable) intro.

All comments welcome.

Dean

[Guest CabinDweller]

Whatever the appeal of being an airline/commercial pilot is, it seems to be diminishing year after year for me. Still love flying, but there are numerous parallels between making a living flying in this country and trying to make a living acting. Many unknowns.

For as long as I can remember its all I wanted to do. My Grandmother tells me since the age of at least three I would simply stop in my tracks until the a/c I was glued to overhead disappeared out of sight. Often at the most inopportune times like a busy day at the CNE causing crowds to stumble around us. I did’nt care. Still look.

Maybe it’s the blindness of youth that allows one to not only accept but embrace those many unknowns in life. I didn’t take the “closet test” but this last couple of years have been seriously questioning what I expect to get out of a career in aviation. The answer no longer seems to fit the cliché “what you put into it”. Sigh…

On a completely different note,

off to Cancun this Saturday for three weeks.

Having much difficulty finding info on a variation of snorkelling. It’s a throw back 100+ years where a pump supplies ambient air(I think) down 15-25’ to people like me for an hour or so of exploring. Apparently growing in popularity around the Caribbean and Hawaii but I can’t find any info on the net, with outfitters or even travel agents. If you even know the name of this sport, I can go from there. Been interested in diving for a while but haven’t earned my ticket and don’t have much equipment…this seems like an appropriate (and affordable) intro.

All comments welcome.

Dean

[Trader]

Try searching under SNUBA...I believe that was the nickname that was earned a few years ago for the crios between snorkling and scuba.

Cheers.

[Guest caevans]

>>9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait you'd have while the maid makes up the hotel room. <<

The guy who wrote this must have been senior...the rest of us had to wait in the bar for an hour and a half until they called us with the key. Tetley's for breakfast isn't the end of the world, is it Kip?