AESOP'S FABLE

[Guest AME]

AESOP'S FABLE

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE CANADIAN POST-MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a Press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving. CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.

The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome." Svend Robinson of the NDP rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers,

and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning

of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US, starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government

house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed and Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose and the Toronto Star blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community.

The Ant is well, thank you and has retired to Arizona.

The end.

[Cargo Agent]

Ain't it the truth!

[Guest DaveCarter]

posted in the Toronto Sun editorials

PICK YOUR politician and this applies ...

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.

As they went along, they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk.

Soon, they passed some people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey.

Later, they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass goodbye.

William Top

Brampton