Captain Roger S Ramjet

[Kip Powick]

“Gear up” commanded Captain Roger S Ramjet. First Officer Phil Phlegming reached out and moved the landing gear handle to ‘up’ and slowly switched his radio to Departure Control. Phlegming called Departure Control and in a monotone voice, acknowledged ATC’s instructions as their aluminum tube, with an abundance of carbon composite additions, hurtled upward. Captain Ramjet continued with the aircraft departure procedures and scanned the glowing and colorful digitized screens that graced his illuminated sanctuary.

Captain Ramjet looked across at his FO and was concerned. Pre-flight procedures in the Operations Centre appeared to be normal but he couldn’t help but notice that his FO appeared rather bedazzled and slow to get up to speed with absorbing all the relevant information concerning the first sector of their three day pairing. At times Roger felt that Phlegming was out of touch and seemed to be mentally function at the same speed as a glazed doughnut.

Roger was very proud of his demeanour and felt he was a good influence on “ wan-naa-be” Captains and quite often would expound on what he felt were the requirements to be an outstanding Company pilot who would, and could,  be the envy of those not blessed to be an airline Captain.  Perhaps, he surmised, First Officer Phlegming  was just  not a morning person and needed friendly advice on how to start his day and after all, who better to give this advice than one who he felt was the Company poster boy  of the perfect airline  pilot…Captain Roger S Ramjet.

Cruising altitude was reached and other than occasional ATC frequency change acknowledgements and check- ins, there was very little dialogue between the two aviators and Roger felt it was time to unleash his perspective on how to start each day.

“Phil”, he said, “You look tired”, and without waiting for a reply he started his soliloquy concerning his personal morning habits. "I've found that the best way to start the day, to be alert and ready to fire on all cylinders, is to exercise for five minutes, take a  few deep breaths of fresh air, and then have a bowl of delicious cereal with raisins and almonds and a cup of green tea and finish with a cold shower and after that has been completed  I feel rosy all over", he said.

Through what appeared to be tired eyes, First Officer Phil Phlegming looked at  his Captain and simply stated, “Tell me more about Rosey”.