Speaking of the Olympics in YVR ...

[J.O.]

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!). Only in Canada, Eh! Obviously the answers are a joke; but

the questions were really asked!!!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

[Canus Chinookus]

hands down, my favorite:

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

[newgirl]

I really enjoyed this post. It does annoy me to no end that many Americans are so ignorant about Canada.

However with all due respect to Torontarians , I think the stupidist questions has come from them.

I have had people arrive for their YYZ flight 1.30 hrs in advance , walk up to our check-in counter and ask where are the kiosk check-in is. On one particular day (Sat.) there were 5 people in the airport , so I said " Take a look around , does it look like we need kiosk check-in? They actually had a good laugh and we discussed the relaxed atmosphere of a small station versus the big stations.

[Guest Starman]

Those are pretty funny, but some of those questions are not as stupid as they might at first appear. You can see Polar bears in the streets if you're in Churchill Manitoba at the right time of year. It can be difficult to get by in English in parts of Quebec (and downtown Vancouver). We do celebrate Thanksgiving but not at the same time as the Americans, so that's not a stupid question coming from an American.

And for every stupid question about Canada that I have heard from a foreigner, there is an equally stupid question or statement made by a Canadian about a foreign country. I am constantly amazed by our smugness when it comes to comparisons with other parts of the world. I have friends who think that all Asian countries are basically similar. Japan is as far removed from Laos and Cambodia as Canada is from Guatamala. And Japan makes Canada look like a third world backwater by comparison.

I know Canadians who think that Shanghai is a dreary communist city akin to Pyongyang. Go there once and you'll be thinking that Toronto is a dreary communist city akin to Pyongyang!

I've heard disparaging comments about airlines in South America, and in some cases there may be some truth in the comment, but if you fly LanChile out of Santiago, especially as a con, you'll be impressed by the experience.

And if you were a foreigner and parachuted into almost any Indian Reserve in Canada, you'd be horrified to find the third world going strong right in the heart of the first world socialist paradise we call Canada.

[zipped]

I know Canadians who think that Shanghai is a dreary communist city akin to Pyongyang. Go there once and you'll be thinking that Toronto is a dreary communist city akin to Pyongyang!

Most Asian countries especially China no little about Canada. Comments from Chinese about Canada are...."What has Canada done on a world scale to get noticed or of any significance" More attention is paid to Iran, Iraq, Afganistan and Djibouti...okay maybe not Djibouti. Canada is a very small insignificat country on the world scale. Hey, maybe Mr Harper can help change that.