FLASH from VR

[Kip Powick]

Vancouver (Reuters)

Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2005 - Revenge of the Commuters

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell

today, as an additional ¼ centimeter of the peculiar white stuff

fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions

of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect

that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts

from Saskatchewan are being flown in.

With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark,

Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes

before venturing out. Vancouver police recommended that people stay

inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or

biscotti to see them through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date.

The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of

fur-lined sandals.

Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several

have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel

drive, although most have no idea how to use it.

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast

implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health

Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly

safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at

Mountain Equipment Co-op.

"The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor

Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could

sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto."

[ChicoChico]

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