Somedays are Diamonds others are...

[Kip Powick]

Captain Gerry Sphincter glanced across the cockpit at his First Officer, Tony Whipplash and smiled. It appeared the F/O was not having a good day. Rather unusual he thought, as Tony was looked upon by the younger set as a real ladies man and never wanted for female company on even the shortest of layovers. Gerry turned his attention back to his preflight cockpit checks and reminisced about his own career and how well he had done.

Now married, he felt he was pretty well settled down but he still remembered what it was like to be carefree and looked upon by the women he met as a “real” man, after all, he was a pilot. His first years of flying were memorable, not because of the evening flings with many of the “Northern Girls” but rather for his sense of adventure with each flight, the challenge of sponging up all the aviation information and experience he could, and his desire to be the best. He felt he had worked hard to become a better than average pilot and he cared little that his evening “extracurricular” activities were far and few between after all he expended all his youthful energy in his climb toward an airline job. Now, at 37, he was happily married, a Captain in the best airline in Canada, and had heard through the company grapevine that he was being groomed to be a Check Pilot, another lofty goal he desired.

His thoughts were briefly interrupted by the ground man who asked for a radio check and said, “ we’re all closed up downstairs and awaiting pushback”. The checklist was completed and Tony asked for “pushback”. Gerry released the brakes, made all the required calls and the mighty 737-700 slowly moved away from the gate. Engine starts were normal, all checks were completed, Gerry released the ground crew and looked over at Tony. Tony was looking out the window, seemingly staring into space when Gerry quietly said “Taxi?”

Tony looked over at the Captain, keyed his mike and requested taxi clearance. As luck would have it, they were cleared to runway 33R. This is good, thought Gerry, almost a straight – out departure. As they left the ramp, they switched to Toronto Ground Control and a rather sarcastic voice advised them that they would be number one for takeoff “if” they could pick up the taxi speed a bit. Gerry added a little power and looked over at Tony and in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere said,” Hey…. was that MURRAY?”

“You mean that ATC guy on AEF? I dunno, I’ve never met him but based on his tone, maybe that is him, but then again, doesn’t he work downstairs in the “mushroom factory”, not the tower?”, and a grin slowly crept across Tony’s face.

MURRAY put the mike down and thanked the Chief Tower Controller for allowing him to work the Ground Control frequency for a while. Tired of watching his little green blips on his Arrival radar, MURRAY had opted to come to the Tower, away from his normal ACC position downstairs. He just wanted to watch real airplanes and try to associate pilots with their aircraft rather than just the disembodied voices he heard day after day. Sometimes MURRAY thought he had had enough of the long days and nights and in his mind he felt many of the pilots knew less about Arrival and Departure procedures than the average garden slug. He knew that sarcasm, so often seen on AEF was not a congenial way to discuss issues but…….some of those pilots were just plain stupid…or was it “plane” stupid. He chuckled at his own humor and punched the button and waited for the elevator.

Gerry completed the necessary checks and looked over at his sad partner and when he looked back he saw an MD 80 rushing for the runway and he knew they would not be able to do a rolling Takeoff, in fact they would now be number two, but it would only amount to about a 3 minute wait, even with the headwinds they could still make Calgary on schedule. Gerry brought the 737 to a smooth stop, just behind the MD 80, set the parking brake and turned to his First Officer.

“What’s the problem Tony?”, he asked, “Ya got female problems ??”

“Yeh”, Tony mumbled.

“So what is it, did you break up with Angie?”

“It’s not Angie, Angie is the one in Hamilton”

“Sorry”, replied Gerry, “I meant Judy”.

“Cripes Gerry, Judy is in Ottawa !!!. It’s Leanne, you remember me talking about her. She’s a dancer at that joint just off the Airport Road, you know, the one with a body that just won’t quit!!!”

“Oh right !!! Now I remember. Seems to me you were pretty serious about her…what happened?”

“We broke up last night”

“Oh..sorry”, said Gerry, not wanting to ask why so he turned and looked at the MD 80 rolling out on the runway and put his feet on the brakes, ready to move ahead. “Hold your position WestJet 301”, said the Tower, “Traffic on final”. Tony acknowledged and Gerry peered out on final looking for the traffic. He shook his head and looked at Tony.

“And how far out is the traffic for West Jet 301?”

“Turning final at 18 miles “the tower replied.

Gerry looked at Tony and said ,”We must be in Toronto..mais oui??”

Tony looked back at Gerry. “It was an AC guy, a damned AC guy that she went for. Can you believe that??”

Not wanting to hear the details, Gerry merely nodded sympathetically.

“Yeh, she said he was better than me, can you imagine that?? Better than me…..yeah right. I asked her what she meant and all she would say was that he wore size 12 shoes. …Man that is an insult…I mean, that really hurts. So what if I only wear a size 8 shoe..like so what?? How do you fight that?? Nothing I can do, you work with what the good Lord gave you…right ???.

Gerry looked out the window and watched as the Airbus that had just landed exited the runway

“WestJet 301, cleared immediate take-off “.

Relieved to be free of the emotional discussion, Gerry released the brakes, called for the final checks and applied the power,

There was little wind and the aircraft accelerated straight down the center of the runway and once again Gerry felt his spirits rise as they accelerated toward V1. He glanced over at Tony whose face was a mixture of despair and loathing and felt a momentary sense of pity for his partner. They accelerated through 80 kts and would soon be airborne. Gerry stole a quick glance at Tony, grinned and said, “ Cheer up partner”.

The accident investigation board convenes in Toronto on Sunday.

[ChicoChico]

hee hee hee,....brilliant as usual Kipster!!