Guest neo Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 And in other financial news today, Ahkbar's Expat Bar & Grill in Beirut, Lebanon filed for protection from its creditors, citing unprecedented economic pressures and pilots' unpaid bar bills. The owner of the enterprise, Ahkbar, spoke today at a press conference to announce his decision to take the favored watering hole into Chapter 13: "I blame the rapacious creditors. They are like animals. Particularly Omar, my cousin. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his armpits." Insiders tell a tale of fiscal mismanagement, economic uncertainty, employee intransigence, costly security, health concerns, Kip Powick's unpaid bar bill, war in neighboring Iraq, government taxes and fees, global warming, bar-lowering competitors, and Ahkbar's tendency to write a six when he really meant to write a nine, as contributing factors to the demise of this once-thriving franchise. "I blame the insatiable unions," said Ahkbar. "They are like animals. Particularly the camel drivers from my delivery division. May Allah curse their seed unto the seventh generation." Reached for his views, the head of the Camel Drivers Union (CDU) declined to comment. "We'll drive this outfit into bankruptcy before our union issues any comment," said the anonymous president. "This bar will sink into the sewers of Beirut before the CDU utters one word about this matter. If Ahkbar's going down, our lips are as sealed as those of the Sphinx." More forthcoming was Huzz Barkode, head of the servers union. "Our union despises this pig, Ahkbar," he said. "How dare he come to us for concessions. It's as bluff. We don't believe there's a problem. But we'll let Sameed in the kitchen be laid off, just in case." "I blame Sameed," said Ahkbar. "If I told her once, I told her a thousand times: wash your hands after cleaning out the camel stalls. We didn't need this dysentary outbreak right now. May her womb turn to dust." Knowledgable observers have mixed views on the future for Ahkbar's Expat Bar & Grill. When polled, a group of analysts were divided in their outlook: fifty percent expected the Red Wings to take the Stanley Cup, while the other fifty percent felt that their opinion was only half the story. "May all the sands of Egypt be pounded up their @sses," exclaimed Ahkbar. "I have fifty on Ottawa. Is there no end to the misery these people will foretell?" Ahkbar's Expat Bar & Grill. B:ABG on the Beirut bourse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rob Assaf Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 The missing Iraqi info minister has shown up in Canada to take over the post of ACPA information officer. In one of his first statements he said, "The company is not N-O-T in bankruptcy protection, this is a horrible lie prepetrated by the infidel Clive from evil Alberta. We will be rolling in 20 bills before the end of the day, you will see. We will shovel them out of our way to get to our cars, I promise you." When asked about Scope and regional flying he had this to say, "What are these dashs you speak of? they are like mosquitos to me, I slap them away. They are nothing but a petty annoyance. Do not trouble yourself or me with further question of them, I've already forgotten you asked." When asked about the Toronto Pearson operation during the unseasonable weather the first week of April he had this to say, "We've retaken the airport, the snow was never there, it was all just a lie to make the West feel better". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mtc. Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 Readers Digest may have there "Points to Ponder", but this site will give you those "Quotes to Ponder" ....... Somebody should get the name of the PR school he attended... Surely to make the "best and Worse" list.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mtc. Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 Readers Digest may have there "Points to Ponder", but this site will give you those "Quotes to Ponder" ....... Somebody should get the name of the PR school he attended... Surely to make the "best and Worse" list.... www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest b52er Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 "Dat guy dare......Bush......he never really call off his visit to Canada eh.." "Dat telephone call I get from Ambassador never really came...I don't know what you crazy guys are talk'in bout." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest b52er Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2003/04/14/iraq_contracts030414 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre Garneau Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 The elusive, not in Baghdad..wherever Iraqi Information Minister is too much. Click on the site below for his 'how goes it', blow-by-blow account ...until he vanished". Cheers. Pierre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre Garneau Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Iraqi Information Minister 'not-in-Baghdad' al-Sahaf provided much required relief over the past few weeks. The web site below has scripted the Minister's daily 'how goes it' to the world press over the past three weeks (until he went missing). An excellent read. Enjoy! Pierre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre Garneau Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Good post, Rob! A friend emailed me a site featuring the Iraqi Information Minister al-Sahaf's 'how goes it' to the press over the past 3 weeks. Funny, a good read. Pierre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre Garneau Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 Good one, Rob! The site below is a hoot and a good read. It features Minister al-Sahaf's many not so truthful but always amuzing daily 'how goes it' to the world press. Enjoy! Pierre G. http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rob Assaf Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 I got the idea from the site, my dad pointed it out to me and...well the rest is history. I'm glad that it got taken in the light that it was given, just humour, nothing else. Watching that guys press conferences was one of the lighter moments of the cnn coverage in my opinion. It was some pretty funny material. That guy had more spin on his stuff than a Beckham free kick. Cheers for now, Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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