Men Are Just Happier People

[Kip Powick]

Men Are Just Happier People. What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station toilet because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000.00. Tux rental $100.00

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks and airplanes.

A five day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $9.95 for a three pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache..

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

[Guest rattler]

The Magnificent Man or Why Men Are Superior.

(Blame it on Kip for starting this thread)

1. We know stuff about tanks.

2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.

3. We can open all our own jars.

4. We can make decisions without a support group.

5. We can leave a motel bed unmade.

6. We can kill our own food.

7. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

8. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

9. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.

10. Underwear is $10 a three-pack.

11. Three pairs of shoes is more than adequate.

12. We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming.

13. Car mechanics tell us the truth.

14. We can sit quietly and watch TV with a friend for hours without thinking, "He must be mad at me."

15. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

16. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

17. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends.

18. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

19. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors.

20. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

21. The same hairstyle lasts for years--maybe decades.

22. We don't have to shave below the neck.

23. A few belches are expected and tolerated.

24. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.