An Old Friend

[Kip Powick]

This Saturday I went to visit an old friend on mine, let’s just call him “ Fred”. He was a flight instructor in DND many, many years ago and I was one of his last students. He now lives in a very secluded area of Ontario and has shunned most of the amenities of the modern era, with the exception of TV.

I spent the night there, and the old fellow, a widower, prepared breakfast for me…it consisted of eggs and bacon, and a cup of coffee. I noticed a film-like substance on my plate and asked him, "Are these plates clean?"

He replied “Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them so go on and finish your meal." Well yeh, I thought, it must be a real thrill to be up here in the dead of winter.

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers he had made for lunch, I noticed tiny specks around the edge of my plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yokes. So I asked again, " Are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up from his hamburger, the old pilot said, "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore!"

Later that evening, as I was on my way out, to go home, Fred’s dog started to growl and would not let me pass.

"Fred, your dog won't let me out," I said.

Without diverting his attention from the hockey game Fred shouted,

"Coldwater, move!”

[Guest Hadrian]

I hope you're kidding.