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monty pythoners!

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I'm going to burn in hell for this one, or at least get a stern lecture from the moderators, but seeing as how religion has been a recent topic, I offer this:

Comparatìve Relìgìon

Taoìsm: Shìt happens.

Confucìanìsm: Confucìus say, “Shìt happens.”

Buddhìsm: Ìf shìt happens, ìt doesn’t really exìst.

Zen: What ìs the sound of shìt happenìng?

Hìnduìsm: Thìs shìt has happened before.

Ìslam: Ìf shìt happens, ìt ìs the wìll of Allah.

Protestantìsm: Let shìt happen to someone else.

Catholìcìsm: Ìf shìt happens, you deserve ìt.

Agnostìcìsm: What ìs thìs shìt?

Atheìsm: Ìdon’t belìeve thìs shìt!

Judaìsm: Why does thìs shìt always happen to us?

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