cp fa Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Jeff Foxworthy on 'Ontario' If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Ontario. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Wawa is the coldest spot in the nation,you might live in Ontario. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Ontario. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Ontario. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Ontario. If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Ontario. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Ontario. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE 'Ontarian' if: 1. "Vacation" means going South past London for the weekend. 2. You measure distance in hours. 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again. 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 8. You know all 4 seasons: almost Winter, Winter, still Winter and road construction. 9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. 10. 'Down South' to you means London. 11. Your 1st. of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost. 12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly." 14. You actually understand these jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHI Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Some relatives visited us this past August. When they came to Vancouver their lawn was green and ours was brown. We visited them in Calgary last weekend and our lawn was green and theirs was brown. Noticed a bit of a frown though, when I mentioned that I had to cut our lawn last weekend. Cheers, Henry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kip Powick Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 HHI My sources tell me that that part of BC will probably slip into the Pacific this winter. I'm not using my dinghy until next summer. Wanna borrow it...just incase?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deicer Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 HHI My sources tell me that that part of BC will probably slip into the Pacific this winter. I'm not using my dinghy until next summer. Wanna borrow it...just incase?? And the surfing will be great in Banff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHI Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Kip & deicer: Thought you might come back with something like that. ---- It's OK - you're entitled. Swimming lessons starting next month. :>) Cheers, Henry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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