Friday Funny

[manwest]

Computer call centre ..............

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the

Open

Desktop."

Customer "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a

pop-up menu?"

Customer "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have

done up

until

this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I

wrote

'click'."

2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent,

but I am

still

getting the same error message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get

it to

work?"

3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft

Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."!

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me

what it

says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and

Recovery

disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your

software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of

the

screen,

canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer:: "A white one."

7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me

at the

grocery

store."

9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you

running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed

an illegal

abortion."

11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I

urgently need

to

print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system

disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy

inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an

Intel

inside."

14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a

problem.

We're

open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"