deicer Posted April 27, 2003 Share Posted April 27, 2003 Dear Staff, Due to the current Iraq war and subsequent slowdown of the economy,Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 40 years of age or older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE(Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After ForcedTermination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS(Additional Income for Dependants of Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel with Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management. Persons staying on will receive as much SH!T (Special High Intensity Training)as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SH!T it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH!T, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SH!T you can handle. Regards; THE MANAGEMENT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragon Posted April 27, 2003 Share Posted April 27, 2003 Funny, thought provoking, interesting or constructive? Wasted time, wasted bandwidth or Cyber junk?… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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