Non-Offensive Thread (True Story)

[Kip Powick]

Skooshing and Slooshing

One of the most pleasant individuals I ever had the privilege to fly with on the B737 was the late Doug Rogerson. He and I did many flights together and many were during that period of turmoil when CDN was in the throes of furloughing pilots in 1995-96. I was pretty junior back then and Doug, as a member of the Union Executive, kept in constant touch with his peers, no matter where he was over-nighting. Doug, to many, was a quiet and reserved individual, not prone to outbursts of emotion, always ready to sit back, gather information, process the same, and make a decision that was well thought out. His sense of humor was rather reserved and he was not known as one who would laugh uproariously at anything funny. However, during that tumultuous period he was quick to keep me informed of my precarious position and did much to allay my fears of being jobless upon arrival back at home base. Nevertheless, I did receive my lay-off notice at noon one day, and at 6:00 pm the same day I was telephoned and advised that my lay-off was cancelled. In hindsight, I often wonder if Doug was responsible for ensuring that I was informed immediately about the change in my employment status. Doug was killed in a light aircraft accident in June 2005. He is dearly missed.

It was a warm summer morning when, at 4:00 am, I left my residence in Smallville and once again eased onto highway 401 for the two-hour drive to Toronto. I was scheduled for a three day pairing with Doug and was looking forward to enjoying his company, both in the pointy end of the T-Rex, and on the ground during our two nights away. I loved the early morning departures as the highway traffic was always light in the pre-dawn hours and the thought that in just a few hours I would be once more in the cockpit of the aircraft I thoroughly enjoyed flying was enticing in itself. With cruise control locked in and the beginning of a beautiful sunrise at my back, little did I realize that my day was about to take a turn that would, upon arrival at the company parking lot, see me in a very awkward situation… a situation of my own making.

I was of the opinion that the two hour drive to Toronto played havoc with a freshly washed and pressed uniform shirt as well as newly pressed trousers, particularly in the summer heat, so I always made a point of just wearing shorts, a T-shirt and sandals for the warm drive to the parking lot. In the parking lot it was easy to discreetly change into uniform and start the day in a fresh, clean, and smart looking uniform.

I arrived at the parking lot about 90 minutes before flight departure and commenced my quick-change routine. I had accomplished the aim and was about to put on my dress shoes and trek to the terminal when I suddenly realized that I had not seen my shoes in the back seat. “Not a problem”, I said to myself, “I must have put them in the trunk”, because I remembered I had them out at home and did a quick polish job on them and must have inadvertently put them in the trunk instead of on the floor, in the back seat area. With just the slightest feeling of trepidation I popped the trunk and…nothing…….. save for battery booster cables and a small snow shovel. I knew that they were not in my “brain-bag” but in desperation felt it was worth a look…they were not there. I looked under the car seats…., nothing. I was two hours from home, was supposed to go flying in less than 90 minutes, no stores were open, and all I had were a pair of brown beach sandals to go with a dark blue uniform…… a degree of panic set in.

I paused and considered my options…. I could “book-off” but that would be the coward’s way out and I was looking forward to the pairing…. I went to Plan “A” …I would sit and wait for one of my fellow airframe drivers to come to the parking lot as someone, anyone, would be doing a “red-eye” inbound and I could explain my problem and borrow their shoes for the outbound flight…it was a good plan. But wait… no one could land until 7:00 am and I was supposed to be departing at 7:00 am …that plan had a flaw.

In desperation, I looked throughout the entire car in anticipation that my dress shoes would miraculously show up. They didn't, but I made a discovery that my devious mind felt would probably offset my problem because, by this time, I was becoming desperate. In the deepest recesses of the trunk, in a wheel well area I found a pair of black toe rubbers. I considered all my options of which there were none, and figured I could probably just pull it off, thus I went to Plan “B”.

I buffed up the rubber toe caps and slipped them over my black socks…a little big…as the rubbers were meant to go over top of shoes but if I curled my toes a bit, they wouldn't fall off……. as long as I glided on my feet, instead of walking normally. I thought it would help if I pulled my trousers down a bit and I added another slight deception by throwing on my lightweight raincoat, even though it was a sunny warm morning. The raincoat would hide the fact that my pants were riding quite a bit too low. I was set, I had done it, and now all I had to do was get to Flight Ops without someone pointing out that I was not wearing shoes. I did well navigating the parking lot and the side-walk… until I entered Terminal 3 with their glossy, hard, ceramic floors.

My gliding technique had worked well on the side-walks but not so well on the glazed floors. Initially I almost lost one of my “temporary shoes” as the slippery floor required more toe curling to keep the rubbers on and then the worst phase of my subterfuge came into play. The only way I could keep the rubbers on was to almost skate across the floor but in doing so I elicited a very weird sound from my temporary “shoes”. With each glide-step the rubbers emitted a rubbery “skooshing - slooshing” sound, akin to dragging a dead body through a garbage strewn alley. People turned and looked, I stared back, jaw firmly set, and made haste for the security door into Flight Ops. Once through the door I was faced with carpet and that floor type posed no problems.

Doug arrived about 10 minutes later while I was pre-flighting on one side of the counter, out of sight of most individuals. He walked around the end and we came face to face. I suppose he was wondering why I was wearing the raincoat and as he looked me up and down he stopped and stared at my feet for what seemed like 10 minutes. He never said a word, but a slow grin started to creep across his face as he stuck out his hand and said, “How’s it goin’? ” There was no point in trying to fool Doug so I told him my problem and he started to laugh and I had never seen Doug laugh for so long and so hard. When he calmed down, we did the paperwork and he walked,

I glided, out through the carpeted terminal to the aircraft. We had four sectors that day, with an overnight in Ottawa, and Doug said, with a lopsided grin, that I had to do the first external check and he would do the rest and I could stay in the cockpit…out of the public eye. We flew our sectors, (I discovered that one can actually fly the T-Rex with only socks on), and our last sector had us in Ottawa at 4:00 pm. After arriving at the hotel, I quickly skooshed and slooshed to the nearest shoe store and bought a brand new pair of black Oxfords. The remaining two days were as enjoyable as ever and Doug never even mentioned my temporary shoes escapade.

I still have those shoes I bought during that pairing, they sit alone, in a corner of the closet, and I often wonder if, at times, Doug is looking down…and laughing.

[John S.]

a rubbery “skooshing - slooshing” sound, akin to dragging a dead body through a garbage strewn alley

Love it.

On the other hand, just how do you know what dragging a dead body through a garbage strewn alley sounds like?!?

[Kip Powick]

Love it.

On the other hand, just how do you know what dragging a dead body through a garbage strewn alley sounds like?!?

I watch TV ????

[J.O.]

Thanks Kip! Your story makes mine of once going to work in my tan coloured deck shoes seem lame in comparison!

[IFG]

Ditto, J.O. - Red running shoes in my case!