Cop Stories... Anyone Got A Good One?

[Mitch Cronin]

Happiest Cop I've ever stopped for:

I was doing about 180 km/h, eastbound on an empty highway (heading home on the 407)... I'd eased up a hair as I came 'round a bend with an on-ramp that a cop sometimes perched on, but I'd seen he wasn't there and had put my foot back to resume 180.... Sure enough, just after the bend was a little hidey-hole parking spot for the bugger, and he was there. As I felt the heavy Gee of deceleration, and smelled the brakes heating up, I saw he'd just had time to turn his roof cherries on before I parked, virtually in front of him. He was laughing when he approached my window! It ended up with him only giving me a '15 over' ticket, and I'm pretty sure that was because he was pleased he didn't have to move his car.... He'd told me "I didn't get a lock on you 'til you were down to 140, but you were doing way faster than that! I dunno, maybe he liked my pretty little '95 Celica?

Maddest Cop:

Somewhere near 3:00 AMish, I was heading home, up an empty two lane country highway, doing about 110 in an 80.... The cop, obviously not equipped with two way radar, passed me in the opposite direction, and I could see by his lights on the trees, that he'd pulled a U-turn just as my tail lights were out of his sight.... so, of course, I slowed to near the speed limit..... he trailed me for about a mile before he pulled me over... As he got to the car I told him I didn't bite and his flashing high beams weren't necessary... he didn't like me. When he asked me how fast I was going when he passed me going the other way, I told him, "I don't know, but I do know you don't know either." ...he didn't like that either... He almost spit at me when he gave me my licence and insurance back.

Nicest Cop:

I'd ridden myself and my dear old VW Beetle up a deep, wide snow drift.... The floorboards were solid on the mound and I wasn't going anywhere.... Just as that realization hit me, a cop appeared! "Ahhh crap!" I thought.... "Now he's gonna make me get it towed."..... Dead Wrong Mitchell! This man got out of his car, opened his trunk and grabbed a shovel, and without a word he began digging me out! I was completely amazed!

Dumbest (maybe luckiest too?) Cop:

I was driving my old man's '69 Plymouth wagon home from Montreal..... Miles and miles and miles of dashed white lines in a big bloody boat that made 75-80 mph (before we'd changed to metric) feel like nothing.... just off the highway, now on a residential roadway, I floated along in fog at about 50 mph - feeling like I was stopped, compared to all that highway - ....when out of the fog, right in front of my bumper jumps this crazy cop, with a finger and a flashlight indicating he'd nabbed me for speeding (50 in a 30 zone)! A slower reaction would have killed him. I'm certain. A sharper reaction might have let me sail right past him - probably while he dove out of the way - and he'd never have found me in that fog...

My most interesting encounter would be hard to pick, but among them would have to be my last encounter:

I was heading home from a friend's cottage, somewhere 80 miles from nowhere, so to speak.... An old geezer with a hat on was piddling along at about 75k and the way was clear, so I pulled out to pass.... Just as I got beside the old bugger, I saw the cop car with a radar sitting off the shoulder just ahead.... I completed the pass anyway, and as soon as I got back in the lane I saw the cop shooting up gravel to come get me, so I pulled over on the shoulder and waited.... "Do you know how fast you were going?" ..."Well, I saw something over 100 there while I was passing that guy." ... "I appreciate your honesty", said the cop, "everyone else I've seen today has lied to me." "Did you know this was a 60 zone?" 'No!, I thought it was an 80!" ..."It was, until two weeks ago.".... but I didn't get a speeding ticket! He was really pleased with my honesty, so he only nailed me for my insurance papers being expired 2 days prior! [DOH!]

Love to hear your tales.....?

[Jack Sparrow]

Great stories Mitch!!! I don't think I can beat 'em, but here's a try...

The Mrs. (before she was Mrs. 4Stroke) and I were driving south from YYB along Hwy 11, somewhere north of Huntsville. We came over a hill, and down we go, doing about 120k (ish......) in a 90k. I can see the 4 cop cars along the side of the highway pulling people over, and before I can get a "oh F$#^" out of my mouth, I see 1 copper standing in the right hand lane, waving me over to stop.

So I do. Car in park, get the license out, fumble with the glove box to get the registration. Mrs 4Stroke turns down the stereo. Gives me a look. Now that I'm married, I see this look often.

Window goes down, cop leans in...."Hi there. You know the posted limit is 90 here right? Can I see your license?". Me: "Yes, sir, here you are". Mrs 4Stroke: "Ya, you know I told him he was distracted, we were listening to Jimmy Bufffett way too loud". Cop: "Ha, Buffett eh?". Smirks and disappears with my paperwork.

3 Minutes later, cop comes back, hands me my license and says: "Ok, drive safe you two parrotheads."

I kid you not.

To this day, my wife reminds me that she got me out of a big speeding ticket. I love her.

=)

4S

[Kip Powick]

I was 16 and had my licence for 2 months.

My summer job was a bell-hop and valet driver, (parking), at a local hotel.

I had a friend who had a '56 Pontiac with Hollywood mufflers

We were at a party that the City of Kelowna was holding as they burned all their bonds on a barge just off shore on the Okanagan lake

We left the party and my friend asked me if I wanted to try his car...so I was driving

I stopped at a red light and was chatting with my buddy and failed to notice the light had changed to green

The car behind me honked.

I saw the green light and took off like a rocket (it was a stick-shift)

Gone about a block and I was "lit up".

The car that had honked was an RCMP cruiser.

The cop came up to the window and wanted to see my licence.

I handed him the licence which was in a plastic card holder along with my vehicle- chauffers metal badge (required at the hotel)

The badge slipped out of the envelope and 'pinged' on the ashphalt.

The cop said "What was that?"

I said "I'll get it"....opened the door and hit the cops knee....the impact caused him to bend forward and he hit his head on the roof of the car, losing his hat.

I was told to go back with him and sit in his car while he wrote out a speeding ticket...40 mph in a 30mph zone

I walked back to my buddy's car with my first ticket, the ground and gravel a bit wet from a recent short lived rain squall.

My buddy advised me to leave slowly because of the slightly illegal loud mufflers

My shoes were wet and my foot slipped off the clutch and I sprayed the cop car with gravel.

The cop followed us for about 30 minutes ......

I went to court and was told that my fine was $25.00 and costs, ($5.00)

I asked the escorting cop standing beside me if the $5.00 was for a bottle for the judge.

The cop started to laugh and the judge yelled at me to pay at the cashier and leave his courtroom.

I was written up in the local paper as a " juvenile speeder " and the paper used my name.

My parents returned freom their week vacation out in Vancouver and all their friends took delight in telling them about my criminal wrong doing.

Couldn't drive the family car, ('47 straight 8 Pontiac) for 60 days.

[John S.]

This is a typical Wet Coast police chase:

[Guest]

years ago i was travelling through the town of Brockville, i was on one of the city streets and there was construction ahead so all the cars were single file. I was in the middle of the pack. I was stopped for a second and I looked over at a house and saw a cop car in the drive way and the cop had some pretty little young thing sitting it the back seat. He looks at me while I am looking at him, then i start moving, well he comes out of thr drive way with the lights on and gives me a ticket for speeding, naturally I am miffed and it got a little heated between us. I finally said "see you in court"

Court day rolls around and the judge askes me to plead my case. I explain thatt I was in the middle of a pack of cars almost bumper to bumper, the judge goes ok, so. I said that if I was speeding and the rest of te pack in front of me was not, then why did I not drive over them?

The judge threw thye case out, but then I said to the judge that I think the cop was ticked becausee I caught him in a private residence driveway with a young woman in his back seat. The judge looked at the cop and said "I want to see you in my chambers NOW". i wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that conversation!

[blues deville]

Fying related.....My first was driving to Cedars airport outside Montreal for a flying lesson. The QPP officer said I exceeding the limit but it was one of those transitional zones so I tried to argue my case. No luck. Grounded for 4 weeks by parents.

Stupidity related.....walked out of a West Island Montreal bar that had a porch full of young ladies sitting on it. Was only in for a moment trying to track down my buddies (pre cell phone days) so no drinking involved. Got in my newly restored '68 Mustang and left a patch of rubber exiting the parking lot. Wheeled around the corner coming face to face with two MUC police officers having a smoke outside their unmarked cruiser. Didn't stop to say bonjour and by the time they got turned around I was gone. Didn't mention this event to parents.

Road trip related.....I once had an OPP tail me for miles on the TCH somewhere near Sudbury and finally pull me over saying there are lots of police along the highway and to take easy. Not arguing seemed to be the key to success.

YYZ related.....Peel Regional Police. Twice on Airport Rd. for speeding....roughly 20k over the limit. The first time the officer got about 2 feet from my door and saw I was wearing a uniform saying to me "do you know how fast you were......oh never mind" and walked away. The second time I was pulling into the AC sim building parking lot but I had only had my airport issued ID. Just got a warning. Lucky both times. Congratulated by wife.

[boestar]

I was returning from a trip to Philly and driving up the highway towards Kingston at a "Brisk" Pace. Likely in the 130 - 140 Km/h zone. On the opposite side of the divided highway, a state trooper went by in the opposite direction. A quick look in the rear view mirror and sure as crap he's slowing and crossing the median just before I lost sight of him from a curve in the road. It just so happened I made a rest stop before he regained sight of me so I pulled in a parked in the corner and jumped out. Several seconds later he blew past with the cherries flashing. Needless to say I took a nice break from driving for a while.

[airt]

I was returning from a trip to Philly and driving up the highway towards Kingston at a "Brisk" Pace. Likely in the 130 - 140 Km/h zone. On the opposite side of the divided highway, a state trooper went by in the opposite direction. A quick look in the rear view mirror and sure as crap he's slowing and crossing the median just before I lost sight of him from a curve in the road. It just so happened I made a rest stop before he regained sight of me so I pulled in a parked in the corner and jumped out. Several seconds later he blew past with the cherries flashing. Needless to say I took a nice break from driving for a while.

Ah , yes.

Time. Speed. Distance.

The Cop has to slow to a stop , turn around and then accelerate to a speed in excess of yours that will allow him to close up all that distance you have been generating.

Hypothetically , if one was to accelerate as soon as the TSD equation began it would be extremely difficult for said Cop to make up that distance giving one more time to look for that off ramp.

Imagine that...

[J.O.]

I was running late for a wedding rehearsal in Paris, ON. There was a long bridge across the Grand River as you entered the town and the speed limit on the other side dropped from 80 to 50. But of course, I was still a good bit above 80 as I reached the end of the bridge. There he was, parked to the side in a little hollow and hidden by the bridge railing. As he stepped out with his arm raised, I thought, "Oh crap, this one's gonna cost me a couple week's pay." The glamorous life of a flight instructor.

I pulled over and backed up to his location. I only got a look at his face as he came to the window and immediately thought I had a chance to dodge a bullet, seeing as he was a guy I knew whose best friend's daughter was also in the wedding party. All he said was, "Late for the rehearsal, eh?"

When I asked how he knew, he said he had pulled over another of the groomsmen a few minutes earlier. That best friend's daughter had been in the car with him. He said it wouldn't be right to ticket me after letting the other guy go.

I always obeyed the speed limit around town after that. I figured I shouldn't tempt fate.

[moeman]

A few years ago, in a blinding snowstorm and minus 30 or so, I was making my way down Deerfoot Trail with my new ice tires when I see an explosion of bright lights right behind me. It was 3am, I was on my way home from work, and I'd been concentrating so much on what was in front of me that I didn't see anybody behind me until then. I pull over, and the officer pulls up behind me just south of the Calf Robe bridge. I crack my window open an inch or two as he walks over, and he proceeds to yell at me "Do you think it's too "f"ucking cold for me to give you a ticket?" I said, of course, "No sir". So he lays into me about how the only time I did the right thing was slowing to 30 going across the Calf Robe. I hadn't passed 50 all the way home, despite no traffic at 3am and nice new grippy tires. I apologize, and he yells a bit more then gets in his car and drives away.

What an a$$...

Good story was driving to Calgary from Quebec. I had lost my muffler on the bridge at Sault St. Marie going into the States. At some point a day or two later, (can't recall where 25 years on) around 4am I get pulled over for speeding in a 30mph zone but got a nice heads up about several similar speed zones coming up in his county and he let me go with nothing more than a "have a nice trip" after checking out my transit plates. No mention of the racket my unmuffled 1979 Chrysler with an 8-track/am radio was making, despite probably waking half the town in that little hamlet as I casually went by. I really appreciated his common sense approach. We weren't racing, just doing 40 or so and his approach kept us from speeding much at all for the rest of the trip.

First day at work at AC, 1984. Get all dressed up and head out to my Austin Mini which, of course, has a flat. Run back inside, get out my coveralls and quickly swap out the tire. Now I'm late, and it's my first day at work, so I speed a little :-). I hit the road into AC HQ in Dorval and blow past a cop on a side street. I see him pull out and hit the lights, so what do I do? I think I can outrun him past the gates and he'll be forced to turn back, lol. Stupid 20 year old, I was. He caught me, of course, and I got a nice little ticket for my troubles. Luckily, my new boss thought it was funny, and the grease stains on my hands lent credence to my story.

[st27]

And speaking of Brockville...a candidate for "Stupid Criminal of the Year"

http://www.recorder.ca/2012/04/09/suspect-escapes-police-into-cop-car

[Mitch Cronin]

Well, thanks Malcolm, but that's not quite what I had in mind... I was looking for more personal tales, like most of those above, where the one telling the story was actually there.

Anyway, since you'd evidently like to hear something not involving "breaking the law" (are speed limits technically "laws", or "statutes"?)....

-- Heading out to Mother-in-law's with my family in the car one Saturday afternoon (many years back).... when I passed a cop/speed trap trying to catch people going either way (N or S).... A quick glance told me I was doing the speed limit, so I smiled widely at the cop as I passed, and then proceeded to flash my lights to oncoming traffic, to warn them of the speed trap.

Much to my surprise, the cop lit up the dirt and flew after me with his cherries ablaze! I immediately stopped and he came to my window sounding like an angry bear! When he saw my kids in the car he directed me to get out and get in the back of his "cruiser"....

He then proceeded to "rip me a new one", threatening to drag me in for "obstructing justice"!

I didn't argue with the man (believe me, I know better than to argue with an angry cop!) and he was quite happy to learn that I'd accidentally left my wallet at home, so he could ticket me for failing to provide my licence. [DOH!]

Just before I got out of his car I asked him, "was it my smile that made you so mad?" "Whaddya mean?" ....I told him I'd smiled as I went by because I was so happy not to be speeding while passing a radar for a change. "Hell no! "I don't mind getting smiled at, nobody smiles at us!" ....he was just a grumbly old bugger trying to fill his "quota" for the month.

...and I'm pretty damned sure flashing one's lights in the day time is not "obstructing justice". ....in fact, if anything, it only accomplishes the same thing as the radar trap does.

[Kip Powick]

.......................and I'm pretty damned sure flashing one's lights in the day time is not "obstructing justice". ....in fact, if anything, it only accomplishes the same thing as the radar trap does.

Flashing ones lights to warn of a speed trap ahead was something I wondered about for a year or so as I had rec'd emails from different folks stating that it was illegal.......Finally after some digging ..on the INet and talking to my neighbour, (OPP), I have it on good authority that it is NOT illegal.............. here in Ontario

[Mitch Cronin]

Thanks Kip! I thought not.

By the by.... In order not to confuse "loose" with "lose" , try this line when next you snooze: "The noose is loose... so it goes... without double knots you'll just lose your nose"

[Mitch Cronin]

...and I continue to believe stupid driving is what kills. ...no matter the speed limits. I guess you could insist everyone drive at such a slow speed that any accident won't kill anyone (what, say 20 kph?), but that would sure be a waste of technology and time for most of us.

Excellent contribution, btw! Yikes! .... Doubtful a roll bar would have saved them anyway.

[Seeker]

Sure, speed kills

While on patrol we (I was a reserve Constable) came across a spots car that had missed a turn due to speeding,

Well, there's your bias right there out in the open. The car was off the turn but you have no proof at all that it was due to speeding - don't bother telling me about skid marks either; could have been late braking, bad brakes, bald tires or a speck of dust in the drivers eye. Mitch has it right - bad driving causes accidents and speeding is simply one factor in the mix. A skilled driver speeding is probably safer than 90% of the drivers on the road driving the speed limit.

[Kip Powick]

Thanks Kip! I thought not.

By the by.... In order not to confuse "loose" with "lose" , try this line when next you snooze: "The noose is loose... so it goes... without double knots you'll just lose your nose"

Ya, got me...edited to show correct use of the word.

[Mitch Cronin]

Malcolm.....

Those stats alone are completely meaningless! There's nothing in there to say whether the drivers were yakking on a cellphone while "speeding", or putting on make-up, or reading a map, or being forced off the road by a dopey old man wearing a hat, or.... ANY NUMBER OF PRIMARY CAUSES! (which can all be lumped under the heading of "stupid driving")

[blues deville]

The 401 is the second busiest highway in North America and has a posted speed limit of 100km/h. OPP officers usually give a 20-25 km/h tolerance and anyone who drives it regularly knows its the common speed range. Unfortunately there are others who feel it's a plus or minus 20-25km/h and driving 80 km/h in all lanes is also acceptable. Perhaps that is their comfort level but driving at a slower speed can also kill or at least cause accidents on a busy congested highway.

Just my opinion.....I could be wrong.

[Mitch Cronin]

Meaningless??? All involved speeding ...... How can you argue that?

It's likely they all involved left hand drive vehicles too. So what? Should we assume left hand drive is unsafe, or would it be better to understand the actual stories before making any conclusions?

A truck forces someone into a guardrail and afterward the cop asks the poor fellow, "How fast were you going at the time?" "Oh about 110" he says. So the cop ticks off the little box that says, "involved speeding" .... meaningless.

[J.O.]

The fundamental issue I have with people who drive at excessive speed (when traffic is anything but light) is that they believe that anyone who doesn't drive as fast as they do is "in their way". The stupid part is that most of it wouldn't be necessary if they'd just set the damned alarm clock for 10 minutes earlier.

[boestar]

Speed unto itself does NOT kill. Many here routinley exceed 500MPH on a daily basis. There is ONE thing that kills in a motor vehicle and that is not driving within the limits of the driver or the limits of the vehicle or both. Period. Formula 1 cars exceed 200MPH through twists and turns with surprisingly few deaths. This is because the drivers concentration is about 20 seconds ahead of the car AND the cars limits are very well known to the driver. How many average drivers know how far they can push the speed into a corner? ho many know how long it takes their car to go from 100 - 0 and in what distance? Not very many at all. I would estimate that 90% or more of the drivers on the road have no clue what their vehicles are and are not capable of let alone themselves. Porsche runs a "school" where they will take you as a passenger in YOUR brand new Porsche and SHOW you what the CAR is capable of. More often than no the cars capabilities farr exceed the capabilities of the driver. In fact more often than not it scares the bejezus out of them.

I commute on the 401 Every day. the stretch from Winston Churchill Blvd. to Hwy 427. This area is ALWAYS slow and backed up no matter what day of the week. I routinely see drivers change lanes abruptly and without signaling (more dangerous than speeding), I see drivers Tailgating (more dangerous than speeding) I see drivers acting very aggressive and weaving in Traffic (more dangerous than speeding) and for some reason lately I am seeing motorcycles Lane Splitting (Filtering) which, in Ontario where it is illegal, is very dangerous because the motorists are not used to it.

I would estimate that I see perhaps 40 acts which would be considered carless or dangerous driving on that section of highway alone. And dont get me started on red light runners.

Mitch: Speeding is an infraction under section 180 of the Ontario highway Traffic act and is a LAW.

[IFG]

Malcolm.....

Those stats alone are completely meaningless! There's nothing in there to say whether the drivers were yakking on a cellphone while "speeding", or putting on make-up, or reading a map, or being forced off the road by a dopey old man wearing a hat, or.... ANY NUMBER OF PRIMARY CAUSES! (which can all be lumped under the heading of "stupid driving")

&

It's likely they all involved left hand drive vehicles too. So what? Should we assume left hand drive is unsafe, or would it be better to understand the actual stories before making any conclusions?

A truck forces someone into a guardrail and afterward the cop asks the poor fellow, "How fast were you going at the time?" "Oh about 110" he says. So the cop ticks off the little box that says, "involved speeding" .... meaningless.

Mitch, old boy - Have you been taking tactical instruction from rabid climate-change deniers?

.... I commute on the 401 Every day. the stretch from Winston Churchill Blvd. to Hwy 427. This area is ALWAYS slow and backed up no matter what day of the week. I routinely see drivers change lanes abruptly and without signaling (more dangerous than speeding), I see drivers Tailgating (more dangerous than speeding) I see drivers acting very aggressive and weaving in Traffic (more dangerous than speeding) and for some reason lately I am seeing motorcycles Lane Splitting (Filtering) which, in Ontario where it is illegal, is very dangerous because the motorists are not used to it ....

Hi, boestar - I don't think anybody has suggested that there are not many and varied causes to accidents, but the fact remains that excessive speed is a major one. Abrupt lane changes, tailgating, aggressive weaving ... those are just variations on excessive speed by impatient drivers. It doesn't matter what the actual velocity is, it matters whether it is excessive for the conditions, which include traffic conditions.

So, if you must, just add "excessive" to "speed kills". All the sophistry in the world about 500kt airplanes, or 300kph Porsches does not show otherwise.

And no matter how skilled one individual driver might be, the problem is the others on the road who think they're as skilled as he is (hands up who here will admit to being lower 80%-ile of driver skill. How about you?). Ultra-skilled drivers can stretch their envelopes at the track - on public roads, drive responsibly.

Cheers, IFG

[Mitch Cronin]

And here I thought you lived in the land called Ontario but I guess you really live in the Land of Denial"

Well Malcolm, you asked me how could I argue that those stats are meaningless.... I told you exactly how: A- the data say NOTHING about the accident causes, they simply imply a correlation... and I used an extreme example (LHD) to show how silly that is. ...and B- the method of data collection (ie. whether or not some cop wrote down that "speed was a factor") is arbitrary and also ignores the primary cause. (in fact, those stats could rightly be said to be "misleading", not just meaningless, for those reasons)

If a city with 80% of it's citizens French happened also to have 80% of it's prison population French, would you also say French people are more likely to be involved in crime?

Causal or co-incidental. See my point yet?

[Mitch Cronin]

Mitch, old boy - Have you been taking tactical instruction from rabid climate-change deniers?

Probably. For some reason, these days it seems I really struggle to explain my meaning.

For the record....: I don't mean to say that I don't think speeding causes accidents. Sure it does.... for some, it can be tragically dangerous. But for others.... not so much.

In any case, unless/until someone uses some good scientific method to examine accident causes, we can really only argue opinion. We're sure not going to be able to establish anything from the sort of stats posted above.

Anyway, one thing I can say I have learned in my time here on Earth, is that I often think I'm right, when in fact I'm wrong. Sometimes I just can't discover that until I hear it the right way (whatever way that might be?).

Cheers!