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Not a great day for a Perimeter Metro


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Thanks for the explanation, Rookie, as I said I was just curious - I have no time up front on the 'tube, altho' I have submitted to several sectors sitting between the props (thanks for the rides, guys&gals), probably disproportionately responsible for my present hearing whistling.gif.

Once again to the crew, well done!

Cheers, IFG beer_mug.gif

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The landing gear on the Metro is notoriously bad. The uplock rollers are constantly being contaminated with ice, snow, mud and sand. Usually a couple cycles of the handle is enough to get them down though. In my 5 years flying the sewer tube (after 4500 hours on the things it's amazing I can still hear) I had 2 gear emergencies and countless malfunctions. Knock on wood I didn't bend any metal.

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Not with me in it, thanks.

Any airframe with the following nicknames can depart sans moi.

Metroliner: San-Antonio sewerpipe, Texas Sewer Pipe, Death pencil, The Screamin Weenie, Texas Lawn Dart, Swetro (in the summer), Baltimore Whore (no visible means of support, skinny lil 'ol wings), Terror Tube, "That noisy effing thing", Widow-maker, Kerosene Crowbar, Fear tube, Texas Death Tube.

ph34r.gif

TheBEAN

You forgot one more nickname "the cash cow".

PS The plane is scheduled to fly next week

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Beanster, here's a few more for you. There are many more:

A10: Warthog

A318: Nanobus

A319: Microbus

A320: MiniBus, NintendoJet, ScareBus, Chainsaw, Deathjet, Freddie Kruegers wet dream, Toulouse Grasscutter, The Strimmer, Plastic Magic

(What's the difference between an A320 and a beaver? 4000 trees per hour.)

Also known as 'The John Wayne' Because they 'Chop down trees, move mountains and kill Indians!!'

A380: Double Decker Bus, Megabus, Whalejet, Elephantjet, Achillesjet

Alouette: Chicken chaser

AT6 Harvard: Halfard.

Avro Shackleton: Shacklecaster, 10,000 rivets in close formation, flying Cow, Old Grey Lady

Avro Vulcan: Tin triangle

AW62 Argosy: Whistling Wheelbarrow, Whistling Tit

BAC 111:Pocket rocket.

BAe146: Viscount 900, Smurfjet with 5 APU's, The Gas Chamber, Bumble-et, Baby Jumbo, Bring Another Engine, 1-4-Sick, submarine- low slow and out of sight, Airborne Auschwitz, Tonka Toy, 4 oil leaks connected by an electrical fault, The Quadra-Puff, Lead Sled, Mini Galaxy, Sky Dozer, Fisher Price 747, "1 aeroplane, 4 engines, needs 6", The Slug, Toxic Terror, Muffler (Because all the noise is on the inside), Fruit Bat, Flying cockroach.

BAe ATP: Advanced/Another Technical Problem, The Parrot (cos it's just a big Budgie), Ancient Technology Perpetuated, Bat Pee, Skoda, 80p, Wigwam (A TeePee).

BAe Harrier: Leaping Heap

BAe Jetstream: Junkstream, Wetdream, Soda-stream.

BAe Nimrod: Never Intended for Maritime Reconnaissance Or Development.

Bombardier CRJ’s: Chumpjets

Bristol Beaufighter: Whispering Death

Beech 18: Flying snag

Beech 60 Duke: Hangar queen, or allergic to sunlight (Begins breaking when the hangar door opens), sloped nose wallet sucker

Beech 99: 99-Liner

Beech Baron: Ball tearer

Beech Bonanza: Doctor killer (its reputation as such is ubiquitous)

Beech 200: Super K

Beech 1900: Flipper, Dolphin, Stonefish

Beech T-34: Radial Interceptor

Bell 206: Deathranger, Hydraulic palmtree

Beverly: Flying Longhouse

Bristol 188: The Mayfly

Bristol Britannia: The Whispering Giant (Was this the original WG?), Freighter version: The Whispering Warehouse

Bristol Freighter: Freightener

B707: Slush bucket, Water wagon

B727: 3 holer, Tri-jet, Trisaurus, Triple crome-plated stovepipe

B737: Tin mouse, Maggot, Pocket Rocket Socket, FLUF (Fat Little Ugly F**cker), Light Twin, Baby Boeing, Fat Freddy, Guppy, Pig, Bobby (BOeing BaBY).

B747: Jumbo Jet, Whale, The Valiant, Upstairs and Downstairs, Lump.

B747SP: Short Plane, Stupid Purchase.

B757: Wichita Stick Insect, AtariFerrari, Slippery Snake, Light twin (as called by Tritanic pilots)

B767: Dumpster, Slug

B777: B737 on steroids, Cripple Seven (I.F.E. Problems??), Bigfoot

B24: The Crystal Shithouse

B52: BUMF (Big Ugly Mother f***er) or BUFF. (Big Ugly Fat F****er)

BN 2 Islander: 225 - 2 wings, 2 engines(?) 5 Wheels, Slander, Bongo

BN 2A Trislander: Try Harder, Bloody Nice Aircraft (!), Clockwork TriStar

CA-15 Winjeel: The Ginwheel

CAC Wirraway: The "Flying Chaff-cutter" (due to its clattering engine noise)

Canberra T17: Warthog (due to its warty nose)

Casa: Christ A Sh***y Aeroplane

Cessna 150: One Filthy, the buck and a half, Cesspit

Cessna A150 Aerobat: Aerosplat

Cessna 172 Cutlass: Strutless, Gutless, Chickenhawk

Cessna 177 Cardinal: The Pontif

Cessna 207: Crowdkiller, Slug, Moneymaker

Cessna 210 Centurian: Coffin

Cessna 337 Sky Master: Sky Maggot, Push-me-Pull-you, Mix Master, Bug Smasher, Push-me-Pull-me, Blow-me-Suck-me.

Cessna 402 Utiliner: Undyliner.

Cessna Citation: Levitation, Crustacean, Mutation, Slowtation, Nearjet, Bugjet

CF100: The Lead Sled

CT-4A: (which was painted bright yellow and green in Oz Air Farce service) - the Plastic Parrot

DC 3: Dakotasaurus Rex, Gooney Bird.

DC 7: Douglas Seven Seas (From DC-7C)

DC 8: DC Late, Old Smokey, Greasy8, Death Cruiser, Whiney Bird

DC 9: Greasy 9, Diesel 9, Pocket Rocket (series 10/15 only), DC3-GT

DC 10: Diesel 10, Death Cruiser 10, Crowd Killer, Dixie Diesel

MD 11: More Death 2, I also like 'Scud' for the MD-11, once you launched it, you were not sure were it was going to land.

DH 82 Tiger Moth: Terror Moth.

DH Comet: Vomit Comet

DHC 1 Chipmonk: Chippie, Chukmonk.

DHC 4 Caribou: The Gravel Truck ("The only aircraft known to man that could suffer a birdstrike from behind".)

DHC 6 Twin Otter: Tin Otter, Twin Rotter, Twotter, Stoneboat

DHC 8 Dash Eight: Dash Late

DO 328: Dork

DO 328J: Dorkjet

Douglas Maurader: Flying Prostitute

Douglas Skywarrior: 'All Three Dead' a mixture of its awful early safety record, three crew, and its US Navy designation of A-3D

EMB110 Bandierante: Bandit, Randy Banty

EMB120 Brasillia: Garbage Can, Brakillya

EMB145: Jungle Jet, Barbie Jet, The Windows 98 Plane (seems like you spend more time rebooting the aircraft than actually flying it), Bendy Jet, Emb180 (taxi to the runway, then 180 for taxi back to ramp)

F27: The Dutch Dog Whistle, Whistle Pig, The Converter - (ie, it converted fuel into noise). F50: F**kin' Fifty

F28: WhisperJet

Fokker 100: The Scud Because they point them at Europe and they don't come back!, Dutch Oven (lousy air conditioning), Mother Fokker

FA 18: Bug, Rhino

Fairey Gannet: Converter of Kerosene to Noise

Fairey Swordfish: Stringbag

F-4 Grey Geese, "Luftwaffen-Diesel" (due to the noticeable smoke trails)

F-100 Hun

F-102 Deuce

F-104 Starfighter Flying coffin, Widowmaker, Manned missile

F-105 The Thud

F-111: Aardvark, The Pig

Fouga: Dog-whistle, Converter, Whistling Turtle

HS125: Pocket rocket

HS748: Paraffin Budgie, the Draggie, The Twenty Ton Dog Whistle.

HS Trident: Rodent, The Gripper

Gloster Javellin: Flying Trowel, Harmonious drag master, Flat Iron

Gloster Meteor: Meatbox

Gulfstream I: G-String, G-Once

Gulfstream IV: Fourskin

HP Halifax: Halibag

IAI Westwind: Lead Sled, Jew Canoe, Heebejet, Bagel Bomber, Yom Kippur Clipper

Jaguar: Septic Cat

Katana DA20: Flying sperm

Lake Amphibian: Doctor Killer

LearJet: FearJet, Noisemaker

Lockheed Jetstar: Lawn Dart

L1011 TriStar: Bistar (Had so many RB211-22B failures), El-10-Elemon, FrightStar, Tritanic, Swamp Eater, Swamp Buggy

C130 Hercules: Fat Albert, Trash hauler, Herkybird

MD 11: Mad Dog

MD 80: Mad Dog 80

MD 80: Skidbuggy" The MD-80/90 series has suffered several accidents particularly in the landing rollout where it has skidded off the runway.

MD 95: John Holmes condom

Metroliner: San-Antonio sewerpipe, Texas Sewer Pipe, Death pencil, The Screamin Weenie, Texas Lawn Dart, Swetro (in the summer), Baltimore Whore (no visible means of support, skinny lil 'ol wings), Terror Tube, "That noisy "Naughty Word" thing", Widow maker, Kerosene Crowbar, Fear tube.

Mohawk 298/Nord 262: Pteradactyl

MU-2: Widow Maker, Hiroshima Screamer, Rice Rocket, Kill You - 2

N24 Nomad: Go-mad, Gonad

Partenavia: Part-of-Mafia, Partial Aviator, Part Banana

PA-18 Tri Pacer: Pie Chaser

PA-23 Aztec: Az-Truck

PA-28 Arrow: Sparrow

PA-28 Cherokee: Cherry Tree, Chickopee

PA-28 Warrior: Worrier

PA-31 Navajo: Never-go, Have-a-go

PA-38 Tomahawk: Traumahawk, Terrahawk, SpinMaster, Ratshit Hatchet

PA-44 Seminole: Semenhole, Slowminole, Feathering Arrow

PA-60: ScareOstar.

PC12: Platypus.

PBY 5 Catalina: Pigboat, Dumbo.

RJ70/100: Real Jet Flying Trowel

SAAB J29: Flying Barrel

S3 Viking: Hoover

Shorts Belfast: Belslug

Shorts Sandringham: The Triple Decker Bus

Shorts Skyvan: The Whispering Nissan Hut

Shorts 330: The Two Tailed Shed, Horse Float, Milk Carton, Winnebago, Box Car, Short Van

Shorts 360: Box, Shoe Box, Barn, Shed, Long Short, The box that the Skyvan came in.

Sikorsky S61N: "Miss Piggy", (fat and ugly)

Strikemaster: Constant speed - variable noise machine.

Supermarine Stranraer: Whistling Shithouse

Supermarine Walrus: Shagbat

T-33: T Bird

T-37: Tweet

TB-10 Tobago: Toboggan - because they only perform downhill!

Tornado: Tonka

TSR-2: Throw Some Rocks Two, Teararse

VC-9 Vanguard: Vickers Vibrator

VC-9 Vanguard Merchantman: The Guards Van

VC-10: Iron Duck, Vickers Knickers

Vickers Varsity: Flying pig

Vickers Wellington: Wimpey

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